最难的是什么?
不能做你曾经做过的事. 现在, 我是走得最慢的人. 我一直走得很快. 人们总是对我说:“慢点. 你走得太快了."
对我来说,不这样做很难. 这是件很难接受的事. I don't know if I'll ever be as fast as I used to be. The thing that calms me down is knowing that I'm still able to walk.
你也提到了楼梯.
我过去很喜欢爬楼梯. 我是一个非常强壮,活跃的人. If I saw an elevator or a staircase, I would take the stairs because I saw a challenge. 我喜欢鞭策自己.
我现在很累. 走, 作为一个截肢者, I'm burning twice as many calories as regular people, 因为你锻炼了更多的肌肉.
是很困难的. 你必须有很好的耐力. 这就是为什么很多截肢者放弃了. 这并不容易.
What did it feel like when you were able to take your first steps?
To be honest, the time I took my first steps, I didn't think much about it. 我的朋友米歇尔正在录像. Once I saw the video, I started crying like a little baby.
这次事故是塞翁失马焉知非福. Yes, I did lose a quarter of my body, but I have peace right now. 我是一个更坚强的人. I will have my occasional breakdown and cry, but I'll get back up. 这是一段奇妙的旅程. 你会更了解自己.
我记得当我去看十大赌博平台排行榜的时候. Weinberg, I was in a wheelchair, and he saw me and said, "God bless you. 你要走了."
I was like, "Whoa, this guy doesn't know anything about me, and he's already telling me that."
That's one thing it's taught me: You have to be compassionate. 我是个更有同情心的人. 在我出事前,我非常以自我为中心. 我做了我的事,只担心我自己. Now it's, "No, you've got to think about other people and help people out."
You said that you learned a lot from this journey. 最重要的教训是什么?
Accepting my limitations, being a better person, loving who I am. 我是同性恋. 以前从没接受过,但现在,这就是我. 我已经受够了.
What's the hardest thing to do in your daily routine that used to be easy?
从椅子上进出或站起来. That's why I’m focused on having a really strong upper body, 因为你不相信这有多管用.
That's one thing I tell amputees: Work on your upper-body strength because it will really help you.
Despite all the challenges, you've talked about how, overall, you're happier.
I tell people it's like going through heaven and hell at the same time. 我现在是一个更好的人,一个更快乐的人. Before, I was addicted to sleeping pills because I was so stressed out.
现在,我想睡就睡. I used to drink just two cups of coffee and I was all jittery for the rest of the day. Now, I could drink a cup of coffee at 8 o'clock at night and be stress free and calm.
我的血压现在好多了. 我的血压和20岁的人一样.
这是为什么??
因为我很冷静,没有压力. Though I don't recommend losing your legs to lower your blood pressure!
我学会了把消极的东西挡在生活之外. 取其精华,去其糟粕. 这就是帮助我走到现在的东西. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out. Too bad I didn't do it before my accident, but it's never too late.
Can you talk to me about the phantom pain (a pain sensation from a body part that’s gone)?
这对截肢者来说是件大事. With me, it was exactly one month after my amputation. 我能感觉到我的腿. 我可以准确地告诉你我的脚在哪里. I would sit up from my bed at the hospital and feel my limbs constantly just hanging down.
随着时间的流逝,它变得模糊了. You can feel your feet, but you can't tell where they're at. 有时情况很糟糕. 它变得如此糟糕,以至于我无法入睡. 这很难.
现在, I do feel it, and it's a constant tingling. 感觉就像你的脚睡着了. It's nothing that's going to keep me from doing my things. 我屏蔽了它.
你最大的恐惧是什么?
下降. 当孩子们学会走路时,他们没有恐惧. 他们不会想掉下去. As an adult, you get up and you're already thinking, I'm going to fall. 你感觉不稳定.
我一直在独自行走. My physical therapist says, "Keep your mind distracted. 不要想着走路. 你想得越多,就越难.她告诉我:“倒着数月份。."
我照做了,然后就走了. 继续往前走,没有人搀扶.
那是什么感觉?
解放. 感觉这两条腿真的是我的. 走路有点尴尬,但我在做. As I walked, some random guy came up to me and said, "That is awesome!他在我脸上露出了灿烂的笑容. 知道你能走路,真是太棒了.
你在加州大学旧金山分校的经历怎么样?
我得到了那种真实的感觉. 我不认为他们会照顾我. 我现在视他们为家人. 我们是直呼其名的.
I've said from day one this is a blessing in disguise. 也许一两年之后, I'll look back and say, "It's the best thing that's happened to me."
这并不容易,但你会成为一个更坚强的人. You find out who your real friends and family are. 你要学会真正爱自己.
你脸上为什么带着微笑?
I'll walk and have a random person that's never met me just say, "God bless you." To have somebody just come up and say that you, that's a powerful thing.
或者有人会走过来对我说, "You inspire me to move because I see what you're going through; you have the guts to come do what you have to do to work out.“很高兴知道人们看到了这一点.
但我不是超人. 我没什么特别的. 我只是一个想走路的人, 但很高兴知道你的努力, 你的辛勤工作, 有回报吗?.
I can go to sleep at night and pat myself on the back and say, "You did a hell of a job today."